Fast Food Pizza

How Hard is it To Cut a Pizza Papa Johns?

papa johns pizza mishap

I returned home the other night ready to sit down to a quick dinner after which I would catch up on South Park and then get to bed early, it was a long day. Needless to say  I had to spend more time than I wanted to because apparently Papa Johns decided it wasn’t going to cut our pizza for us. They also decided that they were going to fill an entire cardboard box of breadsticks with garlic sauce… and I’m not talking about the little sealed cups of sauce they usually put in there, I’m talking about spoonfuls of liquid sauce… in a cardboard box. If you know anything about science then you know that cardboard and liquid don’t really go together, if you don’t believe me take any box you can find (made of cardboard of course) and go into your kitchen, now try to fill that box up with water, once it’s full throw it in your car and drive it 3 miles down the road. Once you’re there send us a picture of what it looks like… that’s how our delivery from Papa Johns looked last night.

I know what you’re thinking “What did you expect from fast-food pizza like Papa Johns” and you know what my answer is to that…. Pizza that I can eat fast, pizza that I don’t have to cut myself, pizza that isn’t completely covered in garlic sauce… that’s what I expect. I don’t care if you don’t like the taste of Papa Johns and consider it shitty pizza, it should still come to my door the way I intended.

I’ve included a few pictures of the pizza box and the pizza itself, I regret not taking a picture of the garlic breadsticks box, but it was so disgusting and leaking garlic sauce everywhere that we had to remove the breadsticks immediately and throw out the box. However, you can still see how badly the pizza box, which the breadstick box was under, was soaked through from the box above. Even with a double layer of cardboard (bottom of breadstick box and top of pizza box) the sauce still penetrated all the way through and even soaked the bottom of the pizza box. I also included a picture of the uncut pizza which isn’t terribly exciting to look at. You will notice a slight cut down the bottom right corner, but that was because I had started to cut it myself before I decided to take a picture and send it to them on twitter.

I don’t know if it was the fact that I redeemed Papa Points to get a free large pizza or if they just didn’t like the $3 tip I left them, but this was just ridiculous. I’m sorry, but I will not tip 20% on a pizza delivery like I do in a restaurant. Delivery drivers make a larger base salary than waiters/waitresses and they do way more work than a delivery driver. I won’t ever not tip a pizza guy, I still tipped the Papa Johns guy last night, but I don’t feel I need to tip 20% for a dude to drive over to my condo, take an elevator a few floors and walk 5 steps to the first door. Sorry.

Maybe I’m expecting too much from my fast-food pizza, but what I didn’t expect was to have to clean the kitchen completely after walking the box from the front door while garlic sauce is dripping on everything. This won’t deter me from ordering Papa Johns in the future, it’s too convenient and I’m lazy, but I will make it a point to put a special note on my next order if we decide to get the garlic breadsticks again… and I may even consider not putting the tip on my credit card and waiting until I see the product before I tip. The not cutting of the pizza wasn’t a huge deal obviously, but it sounded better as the title of the post.

Update: Papa Johns reached out to us, and even though we were only posting this so that they would make sure nobody else ended up with garlic-hands like I did, they offered us a free large pizza and another order of garlic breadsticks. So thank you Papa Johns, I’m sure this time will be better.

papa johns delivery mishap garlic sauce
Pizza box covered in garlic sauce

About the author

Tom

I'm a married man in his 30's who doesn't really "like" food. If it weren't for my wife I would be living off of pizza and cheeseburgers for the rest of my life. Follow me as I venture slightly out of my comfort zone to try different foods and restaurants.

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